Who do you listen to if your inner guidance tells you that something is all right for you to do, but your parent or someone else deserving of respect tells you that you may not?

—Justin, at age 16,
California

Dear Justin,

That depends upon what our so-called inner guidance tells us to do. The guidance may be from the Kal, instead of from the Mahanta. The whole purpose of the teachings of ECK is to teach us the difference.

Growing up, spiritually and physically, means that more and more people are affected by what we do. When a four-year-old boy hits his younger brother on the head with his hand, his parents see no great harm is done, because the child has so little strength. Therefore, the child gets a mild rebuke.

But let’s say the child grows up. Now he’s fifteen. He strikes a classmate in a fit of anger and hurts him. Will his punishment be as light as when he was a child? Again, it depends upon what provoked his anger—belligerence or self-defense.

Most people make impulsive decisions while under the control of the passions of the mind. This has nothing to do with the inner guidance of the Mahanta. They are selfish human beings who think only of their own gratification. In this case, they must suffer the consequences of their runaway emotions.

There’s a hard way and an easy way to learn about life. If you’ve ever tried a new game in the video arcade, you can lose a handful of quarters in no time while trying to learn the game by yourself. A better way is to watch someone who has played the game before and imitate him.

Parents and teachers are role models for us. They do not have all the answers, but they are responsible for their children’s entry into society as mature individuals. If they cannot do the job, then the Kal sees to it that the courts limit the destructive behavior of their children.

The older you become, the more you find there is no right or wrong in an absolute sense. The guiding rule that will stand you well throughout life is this ECK saying: Is it true, is it necessary, is it kind? Unless the answer is yes for all three, then you would do well to reconsider your intended action.

That saying will resolve many of the problems that are facing you now in trying to understand the conflict you feel between your inner guidance and the guidance of your parents and others.

(from Summer 1988 Letter of Light)