How can I learn to control my anger and manage my short temper?

—Premo,
Malaysia

Dear Premo,

It may surprise you to learn that most all Souls go through the extremes of the five passions of the mind during their many incarnations here. Anger is no exception.

What makes people finally moderate the extremes? In a word, pain! The further one is from a more balanced state of consciousness, the longer and harder the rebalancing becomes. It is our choice of whether to come easy or hard. But come we must to a middle ground.

So what is anger all about?

It is about our wanting to run things our way, not the ECK’s way. In consequence, we fly off the handle when our plans get bumped, or if someone does or says something we consider stupid. It is our stupidity that causes others so much pain. And for that we will pay.

Keep the above in mind during your spiritual exercises. Ask the Mahanta to help you soften your sharp edges and become a better person to be around.

When a situation arises that historically has made your temper flare, try standing back and watching for how and why the ECK’s will is expressing Itself the way it is.

(from October 2009 Letter of Light)

I argue all the time with myself and my family. I’ve tried exercises and positive thoughts, but I keep on arguing anyway. What should I do?

We get into arguments because we don’t like the rules put on us. We feel that somebody has put us in a prison and there is no way out.

You are in your family because it is the best place for you to learn the customs of society. This sort of discipline gets you ready for the next level of growth and freedom. The ECK, the Holy Spirit, won’t let us take shortcuts if it would hurt us. We get just the right experience, and not a bit more.

To get in control of your anger, try to catch yourself in the middle of an argument. Then chant HU, the holy name for God, softly to yourself.

Let the argument run its natural course, just to see what it does to you. Suddenly you are surprised to find you are now in control of whether to argue or not, instead of being a helpless victim of your mind. Try this, and see how it works.

(from Youth Ask a Modern Prophet about Life, Love, and God, p. 37)